I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
