I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
