finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
bring money and cleavage
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
We left an ass print on the piano.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
