My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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