Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
