remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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