i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
