I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
