went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
