So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
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