You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
