Pappa wants mamma naked
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize
