So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
