Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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