You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
