420 ftw
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
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