i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
