Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
