So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
