Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
