I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize
