Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
