i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
