Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
soo... how was my night?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
