This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
