I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
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