Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
if only i could text you this smell
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
