you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Just invented taco cereal.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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