I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
I understand Curling. That high.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
