Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
