I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
