She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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