GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
