im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
