I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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