I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
What a dumb baby whore.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
