I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
