I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
they need to just BURY HIM!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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