somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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