At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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