We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
