there's paper in my vomit.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
