We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
