it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
