Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
