I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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