Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
