We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
