doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize
