we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
