we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
