I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
