You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
