dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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