found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
bring money and cleavage
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
