Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
