Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
